wat bout pragnant strippers??
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
