oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
