New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
