Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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