Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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