i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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