I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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