It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
