Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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