in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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