Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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