The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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