Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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