they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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