So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Barsexuality is the new black.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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