The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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