is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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