i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
