can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
