Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So many bounce houses so little time
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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