Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
