Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
