Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
