Are we in a gay sports bar?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
