I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
