i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
