some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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