Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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