You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it hurts more in the daytime
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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