i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
