Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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