you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
