remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
