So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
