New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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