just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
