So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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