Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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