atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
