I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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