You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
