Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my being single is dangerous.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I will pee on everything he values.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
