it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize