just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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