Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
