Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im holly from the hills drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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