I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
