Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize