idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
