me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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