I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
