Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
