I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
