If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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