Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
